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We’re all going to die someday babes. #morbid
Deathbed regrets should have more research funding. It seems like invaluable information if you take it as advice. See, I don’t see people as lacking in good advice and good direction. There are some really general golden nuggets of advice floating around that people still ignore.
Just off the top of my Lily-head:
*Spend time with your children instead of money.
*Strive to be the man you want your daughter to marry.
*Don’t take things too personally. No one thinks about you as much as you do.
*If you don’t understand basic personal finance then you’re forked.
I went to my deathbed on my 27th birthday. I asked myself who I wish I could be and what exact legacy I wanted to leave behind. I couldn’t ask my 27th-year-old self about these things because everything started with a “but.” I’m damn annoying that way.
Oh my Buddha I’m so surprised unfulfillment was #1………..not.
“I never pursued my dreams and aspirations.”
When you spend 40+ years at a 9-to-5 grind and take that as your destined reality, when exactly will you find the time and energy to pursue anything by retirement age?
“I wish I’d have traveled more.”
Yup, expected. Even if your mind is young, your body – the vessel – is tired. Plus the majority of people hate their job so if 40+ years haven’t cultivated enough apathy for work, then a tired body will.
“I wish I had children.”
I believe a person can live a full life without children – absolutely – and not everyone was meant to be a parent. A lot of people shouldn’t even be parents honestly.
From what I heard, children are intensifiers, like kitchen spices. So if you wanted a good life like you spice up a good dish…eat children…? Lol just kidding. See there’s that morbid thing again. *Thumbs up*
But seriously though, this regret is totally scary because I’ve been on and off the fence about having biological children. Maybe we should play it safe and since we’re on the fence so there wouldn’t be any regret later?
“I wish I’d tuned the world out more.”
I can’t relate to this problem 😉
“I wish I was content with what I have.”
Oh yay I literally just mentioned that my last post. Contentment is key because “having enough” is really a mental challenge.
“I wish I didn’t wait to start it tomorrow.” “I wish I would have kept going.”
It’s good to have dreams and aspirations even if ours might not come true. We all need something to make us look towards the sky. Otherwise, it’s going to be a boring life.
Related: What The Hell Are Deep Life Goals?
“Happiness is a choice, I wish I knew that earlier.”
“I wish I said ‘I love you’ more.”
Aw. That’s pretty easy to fix. I don’t think this will be a regret of mine, at least I hope not. I grew up in a household that never, ever say that to each other – I think it’s a Chinese thing. But now, Mr. Hippo and I said ‘I love yous’ to each other maybe 3 times a weekday and 20 times over the weekends. It wasn’t until I married Mr. Hippo that I started saying it and got into the habit of saying it. When the conversation gets quiet and there’s nothing else to say, we say it just to appreciate each other.
“I should have been the bigger person and resolved my problems.”
It seems to be popular opinion that besides saying ‘I love yous,’ you should also say sorry more often. Considering over 50% of marriages end in divorce perhaps being the bigger person and working through problems is why this is so common of a regret.
“I worked too much and never made time for my family.”
I love it when another blogger features interviews of highly salaried, highly ambitious people. A common struggle in those interviews is how they balance their career and family. I think I almost went down that path. In the end, there is rarely a good family/work split among super highly salaried employees.
That was one reason why Mr. Executive and I broke up. It’s really hard to build a relationship with a person who is dedicated to working every hour of every day. It was hard for me to imagine being married to someone like that…probably because he would be at the office 24/7.
Mr. Hippo balances out his work and home life. He is not obsessed with getting ahead, which was the middle ground I was looking for. Money isn’t much past the FI point simply because there isn’t that much one really needs.
But it’s easy to get caught up and trap yourself in financially with a big salary.
“I worked too much and never made time for my friends.”
When I was a teenager, my friends had LOADS of time but NO money. Now that a lot of us are grown and working…we have money but no time. When there is time, that is reserved for dating around so you won’t have to die alone. Boo, what farce.
“I wish I stayed in touch with friends.”
This is the regret when your spouse has already passed away and then you suddenly start wanting old friends back, old memories, your youth back. Did I get that right? 🙂
“I wish I ran with a better crowd.”
Haha, this is the deathbed version of saying “all my friends were fake and I wish I had the courage to see that I hated them.” (??)
You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends. More importantly, you are the AVERAGE of the closest 5 people you know. <- A genius quote from my friend Valerie.
“I wish I’d left work at work.”
I hear this one from people when they’re still alive. When I was young, if my dad had a bad day at work, he takes it out on me because I was the one he could pick on. My husband is better. When I ask him about work, he doesn’t remember. He has already blocked it out after a hard day. It’s hard when you’ve braised in an 8+ hour bad day to not take it home with you. It is misery to-go and worst that it affects everyone around you.
“I should have saved more money for my retirement.”
I can’t believe this wasn’t #1. This was about #7 or #8 on a list of 10.
“I wish I wouldn’t have compared myself to others.”
That’s the end result when it comes to comparing yourself to the Jonesessesses too much. I think the best financial advice I’ve heard this week is when someone said they played the lotto scratchers instead of saving because he doesn’t know how his friends afford their lifestyle and he feels like he needs to keep up. And he will keep up by buying lottery tickets and eventually winning the lottery one day to balance out the money he has lost.
Of course, the correct reply to that was…”Do you want to win the lottery? Start investing.”
“I wish I took better care of my body.”
Alright well, this is pretty self-explanatory and not surprising at all. Health brings us a freedom that we don’t realize we have until we’ve lost it.
“I should have spoken my mind instead of holding back and resenting things.”
I am honest to all heavens deliriously lucky…no, wait, WE are ALL deliriously lucky to live in at least a Western country. Free speech, religion and not fearing to have your head chopped off by an imperial whackjob.
“I wish I had more confidence in myself.”
Yup, this is a one. I’m glad I learned how to be confident slowly with each year I’ve grown. I think I came a long way from being a shy devious 8th-grader.
“Not having the courage to live truthfully.”
I knew everyone had skeletons in their closet. This sentence is bloated with that.
It’s hard being honest with yourself. I think many of these deathbed people were born around the 1940s or 1950s? Times were different back then. They had a problem with women voting back then. Going online and finding your community was not possible back then. It was much harder so there is no reason for others now to repeat it now.
I love these deathbed regrets because they’re SUCH obvious issues we have dealt with in our current lives. The struggle of meeting our potential, balancing work with play, and dealing with interpersonal relationships. I do not want to carry any more of these to the grave.
Yes, I know this is morbid (people keep telling me that for some reason) but don’t be afraid of death!
Listen to more black metal music! Let’s start a conversation! What is a potential regret that you can catch yourself from?
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