When I was a teenager I had a vision of the man that I wanted to marry.
He had to be tall, he had to be smart, he had to be decently good-looking, kind, and he had to come from a good family.
(No one wants nasty in-laws, amirite?)
And most importantly, he needed to be a heavy metal music fan.
(Note: I know now that that’s not the most important thing, duh, I was just being a teenage simpleton.)
I always pictured my husband-to-be to be a brooding but sweet, beautiful, super smart, and..rich xD…with raven black hair and very pale skin.
It’s actually a pretty typical teen girl daydream…if you remove the metalhead part.
Think the young Ville Valo, my first and foremost teenage idol.
I don’t know if you guys know of any millionaire metalheads who is also funny, sweet, tall, smart, good looking AND would tolerate me but I honestly thought I wouldn’t find someone like that. Realistically.
Even in my lofty 16-year-old brain, I was like, “Pffft, Lily, I think most metalheads live in their parent’s basement listening to Graveworm.”
No hate there. I was living in the basement, listening to Graveworm, at age 22, waiting for pizza delivery…so that sounds about right.
At 21, I settled to date and stay in a relationship (Mr. Executive) that came with both of us knowing it wasn’t a good fit but both being stubborn about “working it out.”
Yes, Mr. E was smart as hell, handsome, tall, nice guy, great family, everything ticked off on paper. Think the
He was a realistic choice, but not the right one.
Mr. E was close-minded and very stern about being a man’s man. He wasn’t really funny, never had me “rolling on the floor” laughing, partly because he always had to keep a closed, robotic, business composure.
I’m a goof ball if y’all haven’t noticed.
He also had a big but fragile ego, which a lot of the CEO types I find…tend to have. Big salary = big ego = and not a world I wanted to be concerned with.
Because he’s an East Coast ivy league golden boy, he also spoke a lot of bad things about poor people. It was obvious he looked down on them.
Which was very awkward…because…
He was not sensitive about that, and I was 4-5 years younger so I took his judgment to heart.
On the worst days, I felt like a trophy wife…that was all. 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
It did bother me…looking back…I told him I rather jump off a bridge than
(Just to clarify – Mr. Executive is an amazing human being, his friends adore him/follow him from company to company. He’s moral, strong, innovative, IQ out the wazoo, a natural leader. I’m just ranting about our relationship – NOT HIM as a person.)
The Gods Took Pity
Sadly, I doubted in finding an open-minded metalhead Prince Charming who was OK with me putting nail polish on him, someone a tiny bit more sensitive to issues, someone without an ego to constantly guard, willing to pull jokes/make fun of themselves…and someone to watch Drag Queen shows together.
Bonus points for being frugal and money savvy.
:\ I mean think about that… I mean??? What are the chances of that…in a guy???
Plus all the typical Girl Reqs I mentioned above and thennnnn….they had to be able to withstand my annoying, emotionally
And all the odd things that come with being the husband of Lily…you’d have to be a superhero or something.
*Warning, awkward teenage selfie*
Suprisssssssseeeeeeeee curveball! I did MEET MY HEROOO! And that’s my husband.
All by chance, I wasn’t even looking, goddammit this is like a Beyonce song!!!
When I first saw my husband and my first reaction was, “HOLY COW, what a beautiful guy —
He told me his first reaction was (and I quote)…“Why would a hot girl want to talk to m—- SHUT UP BRAIN DON’T RUIN A GOOD THING.”
My initial thought was literally, “Oh it’ll never work, our timing will never be right. Next life.”
When I met him I instantly knew — and this sounds so cliche — but I immediately knew that we were meant to be together and that we would be good together.
It was a very, very strong “this is it” feeling.
Which I completely denied.
I was dating Mr. E!!!! So duh, I didn’t dare pursue it.
I was actually trying to hustle off MY
Good thing they didn’t click haha.
Johnny Depp once said if you are with someone and you fell in love with someone else…go be with that 2nd someone because if you are really in love with the first person, you wouldn’t be in love with the second person.
And you may totally disagree (or agree) with that Depp quote, but I personally found that quote to be true even though initially I disagreed/was in denial about it.
Then stuff happened. Long story.
It all happened so fast
Mr. E and I split.
I couldn’t believe it but less than 48 HOURS LATER, new boyfriend acquired and Jared and I were officially a thing. I wasn’t even sad about Mr. E for enough time…
(Which isn’t great, recovery time is important, but our situation was unique.)
Some Married Years Later…
Hubby and I got hitched fast haha.
“Like being married to a woman who is attractive, charming, funny and intelligent – you are soul mates and everything is perfect, right? She is the perfect woman. You could not ask for a more better woman in the world. You love her, and she loves you.
Only she has one flaw; every 5 minutes she punches you in the face…for no reason. Even at night you wake up, she punches you in the face, you recover, get 4 minutes 38 seconds of sleep, then she punches you in the face, and you love her.”
That was when we were less than a year into our marriage. The first year was the hardest one so far, there were some growing pains (like deciding to invest).
We’ve been married for 3 years now, things are 99% groovy, and I still laugh out loud whenever I see that quote again. He makes me LMAO so much, every single day.
And I’ll love him always and forever………as long as Ville Valo isn’t at my doorstep xD then we’ll talk.
*I’m still a firm believer in that feeling…you will know the One is the One. It could be subconscious or just a logical calculation of personalities but it’s real.
*You know it’s not right, they know it’s not right. But moving forward alone is scary enough to keep a relationship going way past the expiration date. We’re all afraid of being alone to a degree.
*To me, love is easy and love should be easy. Love should never be hard. Marriage is the one that should be a lil hard 🙂
Sorry, this was such a rushed post…I skipped over a lot. I didn’t think it was going to be so long in my head. What do you think of Depp’s quote? Who was your teen dream crush?!