Why Discussions On Race, Class, Income, Privilege & Stuff Are Dumb

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Unpopular-Opinion-Puffin

Hey look everyone, it’s unpopular opinion puffin! This puffin will be giving her two cents on this awkward topic. What is with me and awkward topics lately…

This is so awkward of a topic that I just don’t even want to touch it with a ten-foot pole.

But I don’t want to bottle things too long. Sorry for the click-bait title. But then again, I could have baited much worst… 😉

It’s Harmful

#1 I don’t believe anyone gets to ‘pick their privilege’

…or ‘pick their race’ and our community certainly doesn’t get to pick our preferred diversity breakdown.

Got a high salary? Good! Oh wait….noooo, I’m too rich now to talk properly about saving and budgeting…

A lot of the commentary just makes it sound like somebody is just trying to discredit somebody else based on a superficial thing they shouldn’t have to feel guilty about.

#2 It’s already lonely enough out there.

Privileged White Male
SMUG ADORABLE BASTARD!

How many of you hide your identity and blogs from work and coworkers?

We came online for refugee, solace, and community. Not to be divided by snark.

You are separating and dividing a community of people that have already been alienated from most people who think we’re insane bastards for saving 65% of our income.

Now you’re going to come in and divide us further based on superficial lines but not at the core of our work and content quality.

This is (even subconsciously) taking away accomplishments from both sides of which no one has any right to. Really stooooopid.

Example #1

>Caucasian

>Male

>Upper middle-class family

>Software engineer 100k+ salary

>Photo of specimen provided on right

>>“Privilegeeeeeee, parents helped, he didn’t do it on his own etc.”

 

Example #2

>Black

>Transexual

>Came from the lower bottom 10%

>Accepted into Stanford fo—

>>*!~*~!AFFIRMATIVE ACTION*~!*!*!

#3 Trying to celebrate based on race (or gender or class…basically anything BUT the blog content) makes me feel

…unaccomplished.

Because…you know…THIS IS A MONEY BLOG.

How did race/gender/income become a vehicle to credit or discredit other people’s work and accomplishments? It’s freakin’ hard to quantify that, which calculator are you using?

You don’t get to smoosh me just to represent your weird mandatory equality rainbow mental picture.

But JK, I do like being mentioned in the lists and highlighted in a practical perspective. It’s nice being mentioned, duh 🙂 But but but if someone has SUCKY content full of crappy affiliates, I don’t care if they’re black albino endangered rhinos, you shouldn’t put them on any list. Pre-req: have a decent blog.

It’s Pointless

#1 Personal finance has a set of core values that are universally sound.

You would not be a very reputable personal finance blogger if you disagreed with the principle of spending less money than you earn. You won’t get very far if you only buy stocks because everyone else you know has bought some.

Unlike the stable pillars of personal finance, there is no uniform concept when it comes to race/income/class etc.

I don’t get along with every Asian blogger I meet just because they’re Asian. That would be stupid and I would be a blind bigot. What makes you think I give a crap what color or creed you are? If you’re chill to hang with, real, funny – cool. That’s all I need to be your friend/follow your blog.

#2 The issue of racial privilege and economic inequality is as far-reaching as money…

It is deep-rooted in every history lesson and it is pervasive in every single aspect of life – just like money.

And *no offense* but the majority of people here are just people with a hobby of typing on computers and being paid VERY POORLY for it.

No one is a lifelong sociology researcher, you don’t dig through the census data enough to yap about it. You’re just spreading tension even if you came with better intentions in mind.

#3 How much do you want to split that splinter?

Let’s talk variation.

There are large and very different types of Asians from South, Southeast, Central, Northeast, East to West. Southeast Asians are Malaysia, Singapore, the Philippines, Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar, Cambodia, Indonesia, Brunei.

Eastern Asians make up of mostly Japanese, Korean and Chinese, Mongolian etc. The Chinese themselves have about 56 individual ethnicity groups within China alone. Majority of Chinese are Han, but there are also the Miao, Uygur, She, and Xibe among tons of others. And out of the 56 ethnicity groups, we all come with our own languages dialect like Hakka or Hokkien which makes us all unable to communicate with each other even when we’re part of the same tribe. There are a million dialects in fact. I learned to speak Hokkien (a linguistic alternative) long before I learned how to speak Mandarin (the official language of China.)

If I went to Ms. Frugal Asian’s house and she’s speaking her dialect of Vietnamese, I would be like…”what is this cat talk?”

(FAF: never told you this but…Vietnamese sounds like meowing to me, the entire language sounds like sounds from cats meowing. It cracks me up every time.)

And!

There are varying topics of middle class and that depends wildly on your geographic location. Even just 10 miles difference can be a $200K price difference on a home.

Would you like to split that splinter some more?

Do it by state! Then county! Middle-class DINK, SINK, DIK, SIK? How about…DINKWAD? What if a couple is a white, high-income DINK but one of them is handicapped?

SO much privilege to define, so little time. This is one of the biggest signs that someone is probably bored and/or uninspired.

The internet is full of race/gender/class wars, go fan it over there. Not here. People in our sphere here are just normal peeps.

#4 “There are only white people in FIRE.”

Yes, white people did get a clean advantage which compounded down the decades. (Ahem, more splinters…depends on what kind of white, pretty sure Italians and Irish were discriminated against too.)

Things are better now but humans don’t move fast. It hasn’t been that long since Chinese Americans were even allowed to own land in the U.S.

But it’s not currently anyone’s direct fault that there’s no diversity in FIRE.

It’s just a natural output of everything combined. How would we solve the issue of racial and gender inequality in economics by pointing fingers at random people?

Tanja was accused of said witchcraft on Twitter by an unfunny person. No one told me Tanja was the elected diversity ambassador!

There’s not much diversity because, here, I’ll take a personal stab at it…my parents came to the US when they were in their 40s. They spent their entire life in China hovering around the lower-middle.

Most of us first generation immigrants have elderly parents to take care of because back then, they may not have been given enough opportunities to move up so the burden moves onto us.

It sucksssss.

And that’s it.

Nothing to do with anyone else but how the world shaped itself. Only thing I know to do is do better to reshape the world and that doesn’t mean I have to bring anyone down in order to do that. (I don’t think anyone told White Supremacists that…)

#5 Why is FIRE even the be all, end all?

I am a first generation English speaker, first-generation college grad, first generation everything. My entire upbringing highlighted something different and baby, early retirement was not even in the footnotes.

I never said I wanted to FIRE to retire early and sit on a beach. I said 1) to create generational wealth 2) to venture into gigs that I enjoy doing 3) to make history 4) without having to worry about going bankrupt from my crazy ass endeavors.

My culture highlights different things. FIRE isn’t the end-all goal. I’ve said on this blog before the whole FI part is important to me, not the RE.

#6 Um…Most of Us Are Strangers???

DO you really know if they’re telling the truth about ANYTHING? What if they’re just trolls!

WHO HAS ACTUAL PROOF I ONLY SPENT $300 IN FEB? No one. Just my own words.

Do you believe that? WHAT IF I’M NOT EVEN ASIAN, I’M ICELANDIC!! :O I’m an Icelandic man and my parents were Ingrid and Boris Svetsssenefrjfr. My parents are rich and I got the best of everything but that doesn’t make a good blog story so I made up this

girl-box-fort
Hello, help me, my family’s so poor. Can I be featured on CNN, please?

The Good Things

Ok, ok I’m not insane. I was just trying to make a point. I’m not saying that celebration of diversity is bad, just as long as you do it with care or else it’s going to cause a lot more damage.

There are some VERY good reasons to promote diversity as long as it not framed with an intent to divide or blame. Educate somebody but don’t school them.

The biggest good thing about highlighting the difference between race, income in PF or FIRE is we get to make a person like us who stumble along feel less alone.

(Remember the whole coming online for solace thing, yeah that.)

I don’t think blogging would have been as fun at first if I was not talking to Mrs. FAF almost every day. We do share things in common and we would probably make good friends in real life too. It could be because we’re both Asian immigrants with a similar story to tell but it should stop at that. It doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else either.

I would love to be a frugal inspiration to little Asian girls everywhere but when did frugality grow dividing lines? How about I want to be a frugal inspiration to everyone everywhere period?

Frugal living can apply to everybody. So can the main pillars of personal finance and with that, the concept of FIRE.

We can’t control diversity in the personal finance niche but, hell, we don’t even have to! Why does that even matter? Readers will respond to what they want to read and someone will come along to give that niche a voice. Blogs go dead all the time from owners quitting. It’s about the content you produce.

BONUS RANTS!

Oh yeah! Since I’m here and have gathered new enemies by now…

#1 Stop defecating on Bluehost hustlers.

If their income is 90% Bluehost, that’s their hustle. It doesn’t affect you enough to get your panties in a bunch.

Every sign up we get is another to join the financial awareness army.

People from all walks of life in this nation blow money on dumb crap every day. Blogging at least encourages writing (yay literacy) and a step towards financial growth.

#2 “FIRE is so popular now!”

Who keeps saying this? How is FIRE popular? It’s not.

Kim K’s ass shots are more popular than we are. Kim K has more Twitter followers than ALL OF PERSONAL FINANCE PEEPS COMBINED, thousands of times over.

Isn’t that sad?

American households are currently carrying the highest credit card debt and car loan debt ever in history.

We’re not effective by a long shot. It’s not enough. We sit behind our keyboards and our reach is limited, even the best of us.

#3 Twitter is for Sharing

In my in-law’s dinner table, there are a few table rules.

1) Prayer before a meal.

2) No detailed numbers talk (money).

3) No politics.

I may not agree with all the rules but it’s a good call, in general, to follow them to keep the peace. Especially #3. We all have our opinions and values – and we can defend them to the death – but I also just want to enjoy a nice dinner with grandpa without having to listen to him talk about Bill O’Reilly.

I don’t want to be one of those people who writes 10 messages, 140 words long on Twitter. I used to think that Twitter is stupid for limiting characters but I think they did that so people wouldn’t go crazy ranting to defend their point when it’s most often going to be a complete waste of time because there is no conslusive answer.

There are better things to do – like counting money, reading to your kids, volunteering, or taking a nap.

Maybe I am competitive and insensitive, but it’s similar to when I use to date on the *shudders* dating circuit. There are just hordes of nerdy computer boyz who hit on me….more because I’m the typical short, shy, Asian. It would grind at me because I didn’t want anyone to like me because I was Asian. I want you to feel neutral about me and I will consider it a bigger accomplishment when I finally win you over, not because I was given a creepy “advantage.”

OK, well I calmed down from when I started writing this. I’m also sleepy! Goodnight…oh man I hope I wake up tomorrow with no death threats…

 

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61 thoughts on “Why Discussions On Race, Class, Income, Privilege & Stuff Are Dumb”

  • Not gonna lie, you click baited me into this one given my interest in the topic. While I agree with your sentiment in our online PF blogosphere, I can’t in real life.

    I am definitely a proponent of standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, and our country has a long history of putting specific groups of people down.

    Now, that topic doesn’t relate to PF, and so I don’t blog about it. I didnt create my site for that, though I guess it is a wellness topics of sorts (the other focus of my blog).

    For the most part, I do agree that it doesn’t belong in out personal finance commentaries and discussions, though.

  • I don’t think we should undervalue what blogging puts out into the world. If your blog is public, you have a readership. I’d wager to say even the lousiest of blogs (hello!) carry more weight than they realize. I like this EB White quote: “Writers do not merely reflect and interpret life, they inform and shape life.”

    I think the biggest problem with discussions of privilege is that it backs people into a corner. I’ve written about it before but it’s worth repeating: acknowledge, don’t apologize. Yields a totally different result.
    Penny recently posted…Let’s Talk Money, Baby: Fitting Baby into Our Budget

    • Aw Penny you’re not lousy blogger. Everybody got a voice and gets a voice, I only have an issue if it’s going to divide more than bridge and that’s a sensitive line.

      I hope my blog (all of us) gets read more – that would be awesome – but ah, I don’t know, I’m not optimistic about it.

      “acknowledge, don’t apologize. Yields a totally different result.”
      Had to highlight this, love it.

  • I didn’t know I sound like cat meowing when I speak Vietnamese. And I was born in the year of the cat according the Vietnamese zodiac (it’s the year of the rabbit in China). Meow meow. 😀

    Yes, blogging wouldn’t be fun without you for sure! Who would have thought we would be blog buddies in the PF community!

    I agree with all of your points above. Just forget people’s judgement and enjoy life 😉 and the Asian fetish is just creepy. I’ve met many other Asian girls who said the same thing. 😉
    Ms. Frugal Asian Finance recently posted…Why Debt Made Us Decide To Hold Off on Kids

  • My husband was 37 and I was 24 when we were married. I’m now 41 and expecting baby #9; my husband will be 55 when this baby is born. I’m small too, and all of my children have been born at home.

    Pregnancy is definitely physically easier when you are younger–but not impossible when you are older. I just move slower and accomplish a bit less in a day than I did when I was expecting my third . . . .

    Home birth is hard; there are no drugs for pain relief. You can have a water birth, which helps, but it still hurts.

    The thing is, when you are done giving birth, you know you can do it. It’s a very different sense of accomplishment than getting a degree was. You might surprise yourself.

    Becoming a parent changes how you see your accomplishments. You have to learn new skills.

    I’ve never been an organized person. WIth a big family, however, it’s super important to be organized. I’m still not as organized as I aim to be, but there is also a limited amount of hours in the day. I never thought I could become an organized person, but I was wrong.

    There is a different meaning in becoming a parent, and when someone completely depends on you–and wants only you–there is a sense of accomplishment that is more important than anything else. As a parent, you prove your worth every day. When the baby only wants mom, well, then you find out that you’re pretty awesome.

    As far as giving my children things that I didn’t grow up with: my husband and I both grew up with lower incomes. The main thing I wanted for my children that I didn’t have was socks that stayed up. I am willing to spend more money on socks that don’t fall down into one’s shoes! I don’t want to give them everything that I didn’t have, though; I like the resilience that they need to learn by doing things themselves. My parents taught me to work hard for what I wanted, and I did without a lot, but I also learned to make do. I see this in my own children as we discuss costs of items and they make wise financial choices on how to spend their money (I don’t believe in allowances; they earn their own money doing odd jobs for other people, They’ve come to value whether or not an item is worth the amount of time they spent earning that money.)

    My husband and I are also the only ones in our families to have earned a degree. Higher education for our children is important to us. We are also open to trade school, if our children decide they want to go that route.

    One day you might change your mind.It’s okay if you change your mind. You might find more happiness than you imagined by becoming a parent. If you change your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. You’re allowed to change your mind 🙂 You have time to do so. If you don’t, you don’t. I’m not trying to convince you to have children. Just know that if you decide 8 years from now to change your mind, there’s nothing wrong with that.

    • That’s a big family!! Love your story Brandy. My mind could change, I flip all the time on stuff. I have nothing against having kids as long as we’re prepped.

      • Great rant and good responses. Funny PWT Freddy. LoL. I thank all the bloggers out there for putting themselves out there and allowing me to learn from them everyday in this FI journey. Hopefully one day I can start my own blog and help someone else.

    • Hey Sassy Lily,
      One parent was PWT and one was non-english speaking Latino immigrant. Personally, I made so many mistakes in managing money and men before the age of 50 that I eschew any label other than GenXer (because numbers are numbers and dates are dates) although some want to lump me into the last year of the BabyBoomers. because no label could categorize the mess that I was financially and personally:). Enjoyed your rant on a topic that it took some cojones to tackle. As a PWT/Latino/Southern/Underprivileged/GenXer mid life feminist (a few of the many labels one might use to describe me) passing as a southern white woman, I do acknowledge that there is some privilege. But as Mr. Groovy points out, there is privilege everywhere if you look hard enough, depending on the situation. I personally see a lot of that talk as “NOISE”. And it hurts my ears. To me, ultimately we are all seeking empowerment and want to realize our dreams. That is a pretty kick ass goal in the end, IMO. I love that you are bringing PF and individual responsibility to get our sh*t together back into focus because that’s how we get to the land of dreams. Having a strong internal drive to control my future and not to let outside forces do that was a characteristic that I was born with. Genetic lottery and all that. When people tell me I can’t, it makes me puff my chest out and prove them wrong. Some of this stuff is just pure dumb luck and not necessary privilege.
      beverly beltran recently posted…The Death Spiral – Stepping Back from Certain Death

  • This is a good rant 🙂

    That would be really cool if you were really Icelandic. Where is your favourite spot to watch the northern lights? Where is your favourite place to eat langoustine?

    It seems that people want others to disclose their privilege. I am of the mindset that people shouldn’t play the victim mentality. We are all dealt with different cards when we are born. I think dealing with adversity actually makes one stronger and potentially more successful.
    GYM recently posted…Is a Timeshare Worth It? The Timeshare Presentation Experience

    • D: I have no idea…anything Icelandic. I don’t know why I said it. It’s just the first thing that came to my head. What is a langoustine? Is it a sausage?

      I don’t like any division based on superficial lines. You don’t know someone’s life, I leave hardships out my life because I can’t even start bringing it up without tears. No one knows about that, they can see our money and pass it off like we’re rich and that’s what I think is so dumb, making things like this pointless. There’s pain behind here too that no one knows about.

  • This is just so simple to demystify, I can’t believe that people try to pitch the race-baiting victim angle anymore. This is especially when so many races are intermixing around in the US. There are rich and poor people from every race and nationality – how is this not obvious? Even if they were given a huge head start, there have been studies that shown 70% of rich families lose their wealth by the 2nd generation.

    Lily, you could still become Icelandic by moving to Iceland and getting citizenship!

    • Iceland…sounds too cold for me 🙂

      I read the study that 90% of wealth is lost by the 3rd generation. There’s also a Chinese proverb that says the exact same. I’ve seen that example in real life. If not by the 2nd, by the 3rd. Life is so pointless T_T

        • Me too. The only example I have is by the 3rd generation if the money is almost gone they will have to either float or sink. Like they married into something comfortable, not rich though.

          I’ve never been to Minnesota either!! Seattle is the coldest place I’ve been and we’re not that cold!

  • I prefer to try to impact change through positivity, and I find people respond better that way. Just today, someone messaged me and said I inspired them to travel hack, and they just booked their first trip–that’s the coolest thing to me.

    I also find that stretch goals CAN inspire people, and they have for me. I saw some crazy net worth numbers on Financial Samurai’s site one time, and I thought, “I want to do that.” It didn’t matter that I wasn’t making much money at the time. I could still try.

    I have written about my own privilege before, because no, I don’t think anyone can do what I’ve done. The kids I grew up with, with similar circumstances, couldn’t have done what I’ve done. It took a special mix of skills I never asked for, plus hard work, and some good parents. And it’s important to recognize that those who don’t have skills can’t just go to the Skills Store and buy some.
    The Luxe Strategist recently posted…Travel Hacking 101: How It Affects Your Credit and Other Burning Questions

  • This. I’m mixed and was poor until I was around 12 but it makes me cringe every time I hear people apologizing for their privilege. As you say, you don’t get to choose yours. People would take advantage of your situation just like you do. I don’t begrudge anyone their circumstances, we are responsible for ourselves at the end of the day and comparing to others, be it privilege or lack thereof, is deluded and unproductive. Thanks for saying this.

    • “I don’t begrudge anyone their circumstances, we are responsible for ourselves at the end of the day” YES YES and the hardship just makes the hunger for success bigger.

  • Wow! You’re from Iceland? So cool. I’ve always wanted to go.

    I wonder though, how old does it get when people keep writing about themselves? I’m sick of writing about my story so I talk about other people stories and try to come to some hope for conclusions.

    I think there’s a dead end where Blog will no longer grow if it’s just about them.

    The complaints he mentioned or completely related to insecurity. I try to stay far away.

    • Haha I believe Joe at RB40 is going soon! I like your stories Sam but I’m sure after 9 years, I would say the same 🙂 but I still like stories about your life! That should be a category in the “get to know Samurai” section haha. ESI started interviewing millionaires and that was met with a great response.

  • I had a good laugh, but the points still stand. ✌

    On a side note, I did meet a Nowegian-Chinese lady, when snowboarding in Norway. Never thought I’d be speaking Mandarin in Norway. Not quite Iceland… But just as cold!

  • Talking about privilege has it’s place but it shouldn’t be at the front of a conversation all the time. I noticed it has been creating a divide between bloggers lately that is dishearting. I grew up up in a mixed raced household and they’re were literally never conversations about it, haha. I just learned the importance of hard work and how opportunities can be harder to reach for some.

    One thing I still can’t bring myself to be okay with is the Bluehost affiliates. There is a lot of chatter from anti-bluehost people about it being crappy, not good, etc. I was a Bluehost customer for 3 years. During that time, my sites did go down a few times and found their customer support to be lacking, but overall it wasn’t too bad, but I still wouldn’t recommend them to potential bloggers because of their track record and the fact that their part of EIG. Plus, in order to get the low price the affiliates advertise, you have to sign up for THREE YEARS of hosting.

    • I got unexpectedly positive reaction to this post and I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m not alone. I feel like a divide is much worst because you don’t get anywhere. Most of the time it’s a agree to disagree thing and the divide never heals…and that’s it. In a subgenre online based community like PF and FIRE, not good, not good at all.

      I didn’t know that about Bluehost, I had my site go down once for 3 minutes but that’s it…maybe I don’t check on myself enough haha. Which hosting provider do you prefer Colin?

      • I signed up for Siteground over a year ago when they had a Black Friday sale. After switching, I noticed, my site load time did speed up a little and I’ve never had my site go down since being a customer. Although they don’t have the dirt cheap prices Bluehost has. I figure the awesome customer service and no down time makes up for it.

  • You are hilarious! Enjoyed your rant even though I’m neither a blogger nor a member of the FIRE community. Keep rockin’ your opinions!

  • You’re my hero, Lily.

    If I want a lecture on how to think and what is wrong with people and the world, I could watch CNN — if I had cable. I guess the fact that I can afford cable but choose not to pay for it doesn’t make me frugal, it makes me privileged.

    I’m tired of the self-appointed kings and queens of the PF Self-Righteous Squad. Some of them are very divisive and have an agenda that is not based in kindness, yet they profess to be enlightened.
    Mrs. Groovy recently posted…Building Groovy Ranch: Update 12

    • Thanks Mrs. G! Your email totally made my day by the way! The community is important to me, you and Mr. Groovy both have been in it longer than I have, I don’t know if there was anything as divisive as what I’ve been seeing but I swear it’s been on the increase so I just wanted to put my 2 cents out there. Sometimes the best outcome is agreeing to disagree…in this case, nothing can be done so discussions are pretty pointless. Might as well get back to the money advice.

  • At my government job, the head of our union was a very respected black man. He used his influence to get his two sons and son-in-law jobs with our municipality. Was that black privilege? No one who worked at my municipality thought of it as “black privilege.” And no one thought of it as “white privilege” when whites in influential positions did the same thing. Human beings naturally want to help their family and friends. This example of “privilege” is only loosely connected to the “privilege” being discussed here, but I brought it up because it shows how the meaning of “privilege” has been twisted beyond all recognition. In my mind, “privilege” should only mean one thing: an unfair advantage backed by the force of government. For instance, colleges in some states can legally discriminate against white and Asian applicants in favor of black and Hispanic applicants. Here’s another example: female recruits don’t have do the same number of pull-ups as male recruits to become marines. But the SJWs who bandy about “privilege” never rail against these examples of real privilege. No, they’re too busy haranguing people about having two parents, or doing well in school, or procreating responsibly, or saving too much money, or favoring family and friends over strangers. So I completely understand your rant, Lily. SJWs have weaponized the word “privilege” so they can strut around their “moral superiority” and harass the people and groups they don’t like. But here’s the really sad part. SJWs are some of the most fundamentalist people on the planet. To paraphrase the words of the Terminator character Kyle Reese, “They can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t no pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop–ever–until you are digitally killed.” And I’m afraid the SJWs have decided to aim their high-powered fundamentalism at the personal finance blogosphere. Not good. A once thriving and inspirational community will soon devolve into a fetid morass of warring principalities. Well, that’s my pathetic two cents, anyway. Great post, Lily. I really admire your moxie.
    Mr. Groovy recently posted…Building Groovy Ranch: Update 12

    • SJW infiltration is ridiculous at this point. I considered myself centrist but I’m now considered more conservative. Not sure if that’s because the goal posts moved or my reaction to the current environment. Re: your comment about female Marines…at West Point and in the Army the APFT standards for women are insanely low. A lot of out of shape women can pass those standards. We had some women who could obliterate the average guy’s pushups, run time, and sit ups and I feel bad for them because they’re held to such a low standard. The women who worked out crushed the APFT standards every time, but the low standards allowed way too many women to coast.
      Moose recently posted…5 Reasons Why Subscription Boxes Suck and What To Do About Them

    • This is one of the reasons I want to be financial independent – so I can truly speak my mind with few consequences. Blogging is pointless if I have to worry about everything I post (within reason) and sugarcoat it. SJWs want you to be shun from all of society and get you fired from your work. Primary example of why I still choose to stay anonymous as a blogger.

      SJWs will come after your livelihood without remorse. This is shown time and time again as they disrupt businesses and force administrations to fire academia they disagree with. Thank god there are still people who are not afraid of standing up for free speak like Jordan Peterson. You might not agree with everything he says, but his stance on free speech should be applauded.
      Cal @ FI Me Outta Here recently posted…Jaime Escalante’s Checklist to Achieving Goals

    • I was just telling Mrs. G you guys have been around this community than I have – but I’m seeing more riffles and wars than ever suddenly. We’re too small of a community to have divides!! And it’s not completely related to finance so it distracts from the main principalities.

  • Wow, I never believed that the uncommon dialect which I speak (Hakka) would ever get mentioned in this context so thanks – made my day and I enjoyed reading the rest of the rant! 🙂

    Like you, I think Vietnamese sounds a bit like ‘cats meowing’ but many people think that Hakka speakers sound like they’re arguing with each other! Even to my ear, it doesn’t sound as ‘genteel’ as say Mandarin.

    Aside from me writing about my annual trips to Hong Kong to visit my folks (and my profile pic!), I’ve never felt the need to make any reference to my race or family origins as I don’t think it’s relevant. I was born and bred in the UK so I can only write about those experiences and my readers (who I’m sure are of all different kinds of races, I don’t know, don’t care) seem to identify with what I’m writing.

    Incidently, in the UK, the word ‘Asian’ is used to refer to people from countries like India, Pakistani or Bangladesh.
    weenie recently posted…My Mum Retired at 42

    • Haha no way really!?! That’s cute! Hakka and Hokkien are both…very uncouth sounding. It’s kind of like when I listen to German and I get scared because it sounds angry. My parent’s Hokkien has the same abrasiveness. I much prefer the hilarious meowing!

      Oh yes, I notice in the UK, Asian means central and middle eastern to people than when you say Asian in the US and everyone mostly thinks of East Asians. Big world!! 🙂

  • Hey Lily!

    Seriously – amazing. I’ve been a part of this blogging scene over a year now, mostly a behind the scenes person. Recently, I am stepping out more into the social scene. I had heard the vibe in the community got a little divided…and my initial reaction was, “noooo not like a workplace!”

    So, I was a little fearful how my sunshine and kittens posts would go over….I’m not a true Finance blogger (that already has been pointed out to me…thanks to a SJW LOL! It’s OK, zero F’s given here.). I do Finance and numbers in my day job – if I did it in my side hustle (blog) – I would burn out! WTH would I want to do that?! I’ll stick with my sunshine and kittens, specifically Vietnamese cats – and whatever else I believe continues to inspire me, as well as make a positive impact on others.

    Cheers & well done!

    • “Noooo not like a workplace!”
      YES I know right!! Stronger together, not divided!!

      “I do Finance and numbers in my day job – if I did it in my side hustle (blog) – I would burn out!”
      That’s why I don’t write about Airbnb anymore, burn out and over it. Your blog is about YOU! Don’t worry about any niche. If I could go back in time, I would change my blog name to something more general!

  • Hi! I don’t think I’ve commented before. This really stuck a cord with me though. I’ve felt really alienated in the blogosphere lately for having a solid income and wealth which as you say is exactly what I came to the internet for because our offline friends all think we are weird for it. There are certain things about my life that I prefer to keep private and many of those are items that show where I do and don’t have privilege. Our friends who earn multiple six figure incomes spend just as high a % of their income as our friends who have five figure incomes. Those principles of personal finance don’t change. But I’ve been left in tears and felt personally attacked and that my story no longer has value because of how our household income has taken off in the last several years, just like how my best friend thinks I will stop budgeting when I find a job again and that we are just doing it because cash flow is tight (which it sort of is but only because maxing out my husband’s 401(k) is a priority, as is our ten year mortgage and we have so much extra taxes taken out of his paychecks to cover what his employer doesn’t take out of his bonuses or what we don’t have withheld from our dividends.) Anyway, thank you Lily for putting my thoughts to paper!!!
    Leigh recently posted…Married Finances: Budgeting 2018 with YNAB

    • “But I’ve been left in tears and felt personally attacked and that my story no longer has value because of how our household income has taken off in the last several years”

      Oh darling Leigh that’s terribly sad. I came online for the same community, I’m not sure why the backlash on the 6 fig earners…it just seems weird for personal finance. It needs to stop. Don’t’ feel attacked, they’re not worth it.

  • HAHA… That was an awesome rant and it would take me an entire book to properly respond, but good on you for getting it all out there! I am with you on the idea that the principals we talk about in personal finance are universal. They are also scalable upwards and downwards. You save 65%? Awesome. The point is, SAVE. If you are in a situation where you can only save 3%, do that. I have more to say than most about race, class, gender, and socioeconomic privilege, but the principles are the same across the spectrum. Every dollar you spend today will be worth much more in the future. Define what you “need” versus what you want. Learn to adapt to less. I am NOT talking about extreme poverty, nor is anyone here talking specifically about extreme wealth. But I am with you Ms. Frugal in that this is a space for learning about, sharing, and encouraging financial discipline and growth. Good for you to be doing this and we could all benefit from thinking about these ideas more often. Keep it up! – FS

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